Call me MissMercedes*2

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 08/13/2018 at 16:45 • Filed to: None

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Cuz I almost just got two bikes impounded because my landlord is a lazy insufferable fucking cunt. Story comes below (lots of language) .

Story broken up because copied from FB Messenger.

So

I used to park my bike locked up to the apartment. Then they said I couldn’t do that and said I had two permits for parking and I could park it in my other parking spot

The permits are dangly tags that you hang in your windshield.

Can’t really put that on a bike in a secure way that can’t easily be stolen and I didn’t even think they would expect to

Long story short I came home today and came out to a flatbed trying to wrangle my bikes onto it. Had to pay !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for him to fuck off and go in a yelling match over the phone with my landlady.

Would have been !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! if I didn’t happen to come outside in time.

The problem is there are more apartments than there are parking spaces

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

One of my fucking neighbors has been calling and complaining for weeks about the bikes

I was gonna take the Honda to my dad’s house after c&c next week anyways

And the Kawasaki is getting sold as soon as possible

I have four offers on it

Right now they’re in front of a security camera at work

I just love that it’s two months rent to get your vehicle back

This sort of shit is why I laugh at my dad when he says buying is a bad idea for some ridiculous reason

Gotta replace appliances and fix the house and deal with the changing market whatever

Not subject to the whims of some stupid cunt who doesn’t even have an email address and is never at her office

I said that about it being stolen and she haughtily told me other people have been managed and I said “good for them” and she said “ I don’t have to take this” and I told her to fuck herself

At least the tow truck guy was kinda cool I guess. He only charged me $175 to cover him coming out there. He could have charged me $175 per bike. He was an employee of the city impound lot so if I happened to lose my shit any more than I did and laid a hand on him it would have been felony assault of a public official. Came close, though.

Yay. Hello stress.

MonkeePuzzle > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 17:29

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if Jake were actually the second coming of Miss Mercedes

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 17:35

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Interesting when you break down the logic of it. The understood pretense or formal significance of the permit is that the vehicle is recognized to belong to person x. She knows damn well who person x is in this case, because it’s you... because she told you to put them there. The understood ethical *reason* for the permit to have a formal significance is that a visitor or other unauthorized person could otherwise park there - in other words, the reason to tow is that the permit is a proxy for being authorized.

You are authorized, and the permit is a formality.

I assume that the impound company does not do regular rounds, and in point of fact only comes when requested or called.

Not only does her calling for the impound company represent a paradox of ignorance, and going out of her way to conduct an action rather than passively choosing an “equally wrong” choice , but it represents malicious application of a rule in a way that directly contradicts the purpose of the rule. That’s even without getting into the impossible-tagging issue: which, if she is going to require, she would need to have a procedure for.

Total shitshow, in other words.

AC2 - The Now 15 Year Old Jalop > MonkeePuzzle 08/13/2018 at 17:36

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Is it sad that I actually want to drive it?

Also, a Toyota smart car already exists:

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 17:38

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Damn that’s rough. I’ve never considered an apartment. At least around where I live, homes are (relatively) cheap, so I hate the idea of renting and literally just throwing $1000 away every month that I could never see back. If I buy a home, I can still recoup some of the money I spend on it down the road if need be.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 17:46

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Hmm, send the wife out to negotiate a discount next time?

Derpwagon > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 17:55

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You should pour squid sauce into the cowl of her car. 

Mercedes Streeter > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 18:01

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Oh my!!!

My condo complex has the same policy, but thankfully it isn’t enforced.

We are allowed a total of four spaces and every vehicle has to display a pass. Multiple vehicles also cannot occupy the same space at the same time. I asked management how are we to display passes on bikes and I was told “ideally you’d just hang them off the handlebars”.

However the lady readily admits the rules are dumb because:

1) More condos than spaces, so having bikes share spaces with their owners’ cars actually helps.

2) The passes are often destroyed/lost by the weather or stolen, so they just tell the towing company not to tow any bikes unless they’re unregistered.

I then asked why do the rules exist if it’s universally agreed that they’re stupid? She gave the reasonable explanation that they largely exist for the worst offenders like the people who decide to have six cars at their condo, random non-residents/non-visitors  who just decide to park their cars at the complex for free storage , and the people who decide to park their bikes in the same spaces as their neighbours’ cars because they’re lazy.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/13/2018 at 18:02

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Nailed it.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Mercedes Streeter 08/13/2018 at 18:03

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These are the assumptions that I made regarding such rules. 

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Derpwagon 08/13/2018 at 18:03

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I don’t even know what her car is.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 08/13/2018 at 18:03

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Hilarious

Derpwagon > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 18:20

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You should find out what her car is and then pour squ id sauce into the cowl of it.

Sovande > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 08/13/2018 at 18:35

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Yeah, but not everyone can lube at their parents house. Some folks gotta grow up. Move out. Spread their wings. Etc. 

Your boy, BJR > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 18:57

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Huh. Feels like deja vu, down to the line spacings and everything!

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Sovande 08/13/2018 at 19:40

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Oh true, I understand an apartment for awhile at first, but I would never want to stay in one indefinitely.

Sovande > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 08/13/2018 at 20:08

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I just read my post and realized it says “lube at their parents house” and that just made it weird.

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 20:39

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Any garages to rent in the complex? When I was renting an apartment for work I grabbed a garage too. Super nice to be able to drive down detroit to Dayton, go wash the car and park it for the week in the garage. Then drive my beater back and forth to the job site. On Friday it was great to be able to roll up the door to a nice shiny car for the  drive home.  Also afforded space for some tools and such.  

NojustNo > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 21:52

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Do you have to register your plates with apartment management? If so then why cant they use that rather than permits to see if complaints are legit?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > NojustNo 08/13/2018 at 22:00

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Have to? No. I also got these plates after I had already been at the apartment. I asked them the same question and got “because we don’t have to and I don’t care”

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc 08/13/2018 at 22:00

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Nope. 17 parking spots for 20 apartments or street parking except not right now because a house is being built across the street so there’s trailers and trucks at all hours.

punkgoose17 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/13/2018 at 22:59

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I support buying for this reason. We were sick of crapy landlords and loud neighbors fighting.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > AC2 - The Now 15 Year Old Jalop 08/14/2018 at 07:32

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Yeah but it doesn’t have a 2JZ

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/14/2018 at 07:44

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That blows.  Good luck.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/14/2018 at 10:40

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But it is an Aston

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/14/2018 at 10:49

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You’ll enjoy your future home ownership. I don’t miss one fucking thing about renting.

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/14/2018 at 12:40

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x 10. I was apprehensive to buy for the majority of my 20s, and I majorly regret renting for all those years.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tristan 08/14/2018 at 13:10

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Same. My brother kept telling me, “you gotta buy you gotta buy” blah blah blah. Years later, I was like, “Ohhh now I get it.”

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/14/2018 at 21:44

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I rented for 6 months when we moved to Oregon... $1,800/month down the drain. I couldn’t buy fast enough, but it took that whole 6 months to get an offer accepted.